Unconditional Love

In the end, we are all just humans. 

Broken on the idea that love, and only love can save us. 

I spent my entire life looking for unconditional love. In fact, I looked for it so hard, it broke me every time I thought I had found it but afterwards realised it came with a cost. Some told me I was being too naive, stuck in a world of fairies and happy endings, too far away from reality. Some said humans are incapable of unconditional love. Some looked at me with pity, and blamed it on my past and my broken family. In the end none of this was the cause. I realised that whilst I can see perfectly with my two eyes, my heart was blind.

Unconditional love is the perfect balance of pain and happiness. It is both love and hate. It is confusing and contradicting. It is bitter and sweet, strong yet volatile, as complex as the human beings themselves. It is flexible; stretching through time, space and matter. It is often mistaken, overlooked and taken for granted. But maybe it is so because unconditional love comes naturally; it is illogical neither is it by choice. 

Unconditional love is not a happy ending. It is a journey through hell. Yet it endures. It is almost masochistic! 

I found my unconditional love in my darkest hours. Ironically, I found love in anger. To be exact, I found it whilst listening to my unconditional love hurling curses at me. To be fair, I deserved it. Being a teenager is not something I am good at. I was crashing through life, like a full blown hurricane and I was leaving destruction in my wake. A lot of people were hurt and naturally, they were making sure I am well aware of their injuries. And naturally, I was hurt. It was bad enough that I was drowning in insecurities, guilt and self hate, now I was also burning in their flames of anger. 

While I was being burned though, they were caressing my wounds. They did not stop burning me, but they did not stop healing me either. 

To one point, I was so confused, I stopped to ask "Why not give up? Why do you still love me?". 

Unconditional love answered "I don't know. I just do" . 

It's not going to stop hurting. But neither does the love. 

Lucky are those who are able to see through the pain and see it for what it truly is.