Luck; a four letter word that has been popularly used and
attributed to a big chunk of mankind’s achievement whilst it’s infamous
brother, Unlucky, is attributed to most of mankind’s failure. To accept luck,
one would have to also accept the idea that a random outside force is at work
in blessing people randomly with achievements and cursing others with doom. Contradictory
to the idea of absolute randomness, there are many beliefs that there are ways
for one to appease this force of luck. A mere example would be to wear cheerful
and striking colours over dark and gloomy ones, wear certain charms and to
avoid places touched by death like the cemetery.
I used to believe in luck a lot. I would shrug off all my
achievements by saying it was by luck and also blame luck on all the
misfortunes that befell me. To one point, I blamed God for cursing me with
unluckiness. Believing in luck also meant that while I was not snobbish, I
undermined myself. I failed to see my strengths and instead saw them only as
rare moments that I was blissed with luck. The thing with luck is; you are
never certain of anything. You keep guessing without taking actions to be in
control and that left me very uncertain and bitter most of the times. I was
bitter because as I looked on to my ‘lucky’ friends, I wondered why I wasn’t
more like them.
Then I started to adopt the belief in action. This is
something more practical and provable. Action creates a reaction. The belief
then is if I work hard enough, I am sure to achieve something. Whilst this
makes sense and is also a common belief, it is also flawed. It is flawed
because there is no limit or definition in the word ‘enough’. It is also flawed
because the logic would then follow that we blame people on being poor and helpless.
We blame people on deficiencies and death which some people do but I chose not
to. I chose to disregard this belief because for one, it is very unfair (and
inhumane) to fully blame the poor and the needy for their condition. Being born
in a poor family is not a choice and once you are in the poverty cycle, it is
quite impossible to climb back out without support from others. Second of all,
in my belief of action is the solution to all problems, I lost sight of a lot
of other things that mattered to me. There were always other people better than
me with less effort which made me feel like I was never good enough. I began
stressing out even more and pumping in more energy that I forgot what it meant
to have fun and to truly live. Ties between friends and family were forgotten
and ranked second to my pursuit of being ‘perfect’.
I think it was just as well that I finally learned my
lesson. It was during my O Levels Examination. Economics was my strongest
subject and it was also my favourite meaning that I spent a lot of time
studying it compared to other subjects like Physics that I liked least. When
the results came out, I got A’s for all my subjects including Physics (which I
thought was hard) and Accounts (which I only finished the syllabus earlier that
morning) except for Economics. I studied Economics for years and for years on
end came up top in my class. During the real examination, I scored a C. It did
not seem logical and it did not add up to my action = reaction equation. The
tragedy broke my heart but it taught me a bigger lesson. It taught me another
four letter word; Fate.
I am not referring to three old and blind witches wearing
torn cloaks and bent over a ball of yarn that represents human lives. I am
referring to yet another unseen force. Unlike luck, this force is not random;
it is targeted and caters toward each individual. It took me awhile to truly
understand how fate works and finally I came to a conclusion that fate is based
on a few principles.
1. Fate is always directed towards giving you the best. The
best differs from a person to another depending on what you need. The best also
isn’t always what we have in mind. For fate stretches beyond the now, it takes
into account the future. Trials and failures that you may be experiencing now
are vital for you to get the best results in the future. It is vital to develop
your strengths and stoicism. It builds your personality and prepares you for
the future. Sometimes a failure is also a success in disguise. Each wrong turn
you make, you make new discoveries, you meet new people and you learn new
things. Fate gives you the nudges (sometimes a full blown hurricane) in life to
ensure that you emerge as a better person.
2. Fate can only do so much, you do the rest. It’s like that
cliché analogy; you can bring the horse to the riverbank, but you cannot force
the horse to drink. It was by fate that I was offered a scholarship that I did
not apply for to enrol in a private boarding high school. Most of my peers
carried Chanel bags, iPhones and gadgets of the latest technology. Their
parents drive Lamborghinis and Ferraris and would bring boxes of pizza for
their friends to share during the weekends. On top of that, they were trained
since young to swim, play various musical instruments and almost everyone had a
plethora of talents to show off. At first, I buckled underneath the
inferiority. I did not have my own hair stylist and I have never paid anyone to
do my nails. I couldn’t swim, read musical notes and I did not have a personal
tutor. I had all the excuses I need to back me up if I were to end up as a
failure. Fate had presented me the opportunity. It was my choice to accept it.
It took me some time but I finally saw that instead of lamenting, I had to use
all the opportunities around me to grow. Someone I look up to once told me “a
bird does not put its faith on the branch it clings to but the wings that help
it soar”. Fate awarded me that scholarship, but it was I who grew my wings.
3. Fate is not magic. It is not a miracle that helps those
in despair but is complacent. If you fail because you did not work hard for it,
that is not fate. That really is just you. Fate only happens when you have
tried your very best. Only then do you leave it all to fate and accept whatever
that comes afterwards.
4. Fate demands faith. You need to believe with all your heart
that the best will come. That if it’s not a happy ending, then it is not your
ending yet for surely the ending IS happy. Fate needs you to understand that it
is never false hope. It is never wrong to dream. It is never wrong to fly as
high as you want to. Fate needs you to believe.
I am still learning what Fate really means and how it works.
After all, I have not reached the end of my journey, there’s still so much to
learn. At least now I am not worried. For whatever comes my way, I know that as
long as I have tried my best, the best will come back to me. That was the promise
that I made with Fate. A promise Fate made with everyone. A promise I am sure
Fate will keep.
